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Long Distance Couples:
An Activities Handbook for Strengthening Long Distance Relationships

Romantic Words:

1. Write her a love letter on tissue paper, put it in a locket, and send it to
her.

2. Buy a box of chocolates. Under each chocolate place a short note.

3. Send a box of greeting cards he can open each remaining day that you are
apart.

4. Have a rubber stamp made with a special message to him.

5. Send a "Heart Attack". Cut out heart shaped pieces of paper and write on
them the things you appreciate about her. Place all the hearts in an envelope
and send them to her.

6. Buy a copy of her favorite romance novel. Go through and cross out the
names of the two lead characters and replace them with your names. Gift wrap
the book and send it home.

7. Write a monthly thank you letter to her.

8. Go to bluemountain.com and send an e-card to him every hour for eight
hours. On the day you do this, tell him to check his e-mail every hour.

9. Every night for a week write down 10 things you appreciate about her. By
the end of the week you will have written over 70 things. Send the list to her
in a romantic card.

10. Write a romantic poem and send it to him.

11. Send home a bottle of bubble bath and a laminated letter that she can read
in the bathtub.

12. Print a message to your partner in the "Personals Section" of the
newspaper. Call him the morning it runs.

13. Change the lyrics of a love song to include her name.

Being There:

14. Set up a time when you both can go out to lunch. Talk to each other on
cell phones while you eat. If you don't have a cell phone, borrow one from a
friend and pay him or her for the call.

15. Read the Sunday paper at the same time. Then call her and talk about the
different issues you both came across.

16. Call him as you are watching a sunset or a moon rise.

17. Use a video camera to give him a "tour" of the place you are staying.

18. Watch a sporting event at the same time. Call several times during the
event to share in the excitement of a certain moment.

19. Send home a pair of electric warming socks with a note saying that since
you couldn't be there to warm her feet that you were sending these to take your
place.

20. Write a poem or a special message. Have it printed with your picture on a
pillow case for you partner to use while you are away. Spray your perfume or
cologne on it.

21. Call a massage therapist in the area where she is staying and pay for a
one hour body massage for her.

22. Have a clock in the house set to the time zone she is in.

23. Set aside a specific time each day when you will both stop and think about
each other.

24. Buy speaker phones so that you can talk to each other as you get ready for
the day.

25. Set aside a specific time each day when you will both stop and think about
each other.

Helping From Afar:

26. Help with the laundry by sending home a gift certificate to a local dry
cleaners.

27. Pay someone to shovel the snow, rake the leaves, or mow the lan for him.
Have that person leave a note from you on the door.

28. Make a coupon book of ways to serve her when you return home. You can
also make a version that contains coupons of things to do while you are away.

29. Record her favorite TV shows while she is away and send the tapes to her.

30. Pay someone to wash his car.

31. Hire a cleaning service to come by on one of the days you are gone and
clean the house.

32. Send home a package containing all the things she will need if she gets
sick while you are away.

33. Pay someone to watch your kids for the day so he can do whatever he finds
relaxing all day long.

34. Hire a limo to chauffeur her for a day.

35. Research his family tree. Send what you find to him.

36. Ask her for a list of five nice things you could do for her while she is
away.

37. Pick a day where you both will perform random acts of kindness. Call each
other at the end of the day to share how the day went.

Before You Go:

38. Make a time capsule together before she leaves that you can open when she
returns home.

39. Before you leave give him a jar containing the same number of M&M's as
days you will be away. Instruct him to eat just one a day in you absence.

40. Finish the "Honey-do-list".

41. Change the computer screen saver to be a loving message from you.

42. Take the car in for a tuneup and oil change.

43. Using a permanent marker, write loving messages on household items she
will be using while you are away. Examples include shampoo bottles, dishwashing
soap bottle, cereal box, or carton of milk.

44. Hide a gift under his pillow.

45. Write short notes on 3x5 cards before you leave. Hide them all over the
house for your partner to find after you have gone.

46. Ask her how she would like to spend the last 24 hours before you leave.

47. Buy her a travel pillow.

48. Take him to his favorite restaurant.

49. Buy her an electric screwdriver and home repair manual.

50. Ask her for additional ideas of what you can do for her before you leave
and while you are gone.

51. Fill his car with gas.

52. Have him look through this book and circle the things he would like for
you to do the first couple of days you are away.

53. Block out a 24 hour period of time for just the two of you.

54. Stock the freezer with lots of his favorite flavor of ice cream.

55. Write loving messages to her on the paper towels.

56. Choose a book together and purchase two copies. Read the first chapter
together. Divide the book into segments representing each day you wil be gone.
Read one section everyday but save the last chapter to read together when you
return.

57. Hide her favorite candy bars all over the house.

58. If you will only be away for a couple of days place romantic messages in
ballons and tell her to pop one each day you are gone.

59. When he is preparing to leave, sneak little notes into his bag, suitcase,
briefcase, or coat pocket.

60. Before one of you leaves for an extended period of time, plan a time when
you will get all the appropriate documents in order. For example, wills, Powers
of Attorney, and other needed forms. Follow the not so fun time by having a
romantic dinner together.

61. Place a dollar in a jar everyday that she is gone. When she returns use
the money for a romantic date.

62. Pick something from your "Things You Always Wanted to do Together" list
and do it before you leave.

Getting to Know You:

63. In every letter include a section to get to know each other better. Here
are a few suggestions of what to write.

64. Tell him what you would do if you were President of the United States.

65. Send him a list of your favorite jokes.

66. Describe what you would do with a million dollars.

67. Tell her who your hero is and why you respect him or her.

68. Describe how you would like to spend the day if you both were stranded on a
desert island.

69. Tell her how you would spend your day if you knew you had only 24 hours to
live.

70. Tell her about some (of) your favorite things in life right now or when you
were a child.

Here are a few suggestions:
Favorite movie Favorite author Favorite animal
Favorite song Favorite state Favorite cartoonist
Favorite book Favorite holiday Favorite comic strip character
Favorite restaurant Favorite TV show Favorite dessert
Favorite food Favorite sports team Favorite candy
Favorite board game Favorite athlete Favorite drink
Favorite band Favorite country Favorite fruit
Favorite hobbies Favorite musical Favorite poem
Favorite flower Favorite time of the day Favorite smell
Favorite joke

Love:

71. Call her favorite radio station and dedicate a song to her. Call her so
she will be listening when it is played.

72. Write a complimentary relationship report card about her and send it to
her.

73. Record a tape of songs that remind you of him. Between each song, record
reasons why the song reminds you of him.

74. Circle the spot on your letter that you kissed. If you use lipstick then
you won't have to circle it.

75. Send a singing telegram.

76. Make a screen saver with pictures of the two of you and send it to him.

77. Use love postage stamps on your letters.

78. Send him a certificate informing him that he has been inducted into your
Hall of Fame.

79. Buy a copy of the "Person of the Year" issue of Time magazine and paste a
picture of her on the cover. Write an article about why she should be the
person of the year and send it to her.

80. Get a temporary tattoo that says "I love. . ." Take a picture of it and
send it to her.

81. Celebrate less recognized holidays like "Our first kiss" or "Our engagement
day"

82. Write her a letter as if you were stranded on a deserted island. Place
the message in a bottle and send it to her.

83. Carve both of your initials into a piece of wood and send it to her.

84. Make stationary that has a watermark of a photo of you. Many
wordprocessors have this option.

85. Send a postacard expressing your love everyday for a week straight.

86. Take a picture of any of the following ways to say "I love you. . ." and
send it to your partner.

Carved in chocolate With icing on cookies
Written at the beach A picture of you singing
Each letter painted on the chest of you male friends "I love you"
Carved into a pumpkin Spelled with flowers
Spray painted in the snow Spelled with chocolates
Spelled with Alphabet Cereal Spelled with Jell-O
Spelled with rocks Written on your car window
Written with red lipstick on the bathroom mirror with shaving cream
Using letter shaped cookies Written with chalk on the
Spelled with french fries side walk
Spelled with sea shells Spelled with whipped cream

87. Everyday you are gone leave a romantic message on her voice mail.

89. Send a mylar balloon with a love message written from you on the outside.

90. Fill an envelope with rose petals and send it to him.

91. Buy her a Love Bird to keep her company while you are away.

92. Make an extra large greeting card and fill it with your feelings for him.

93. Before you leave, pick a star together to be "your" star that you can both
look at and think of each other.

94. Call her and play "Your Song". Talk about some of the memories you
associate with it.

Hopes for the Future:

95. Share with him some of your goals for the next five years.

96. Ask her to send you a list of the ten places she would like to visit on
vacation during her lifetime.

97. If you are pregnant read a pregnancy book together.

98. Tell him where you would like to be in your career in five years.

99. Share with her what you would like to do after you both retire.

100. Tell him about some of the things you would like to start saving money
for.

101. Plan your future dream house or an addition to your home while you are
apart. Send ideas and photos in your letters.

102. Tell her about some of the hobbies you would like to begin.

103. Share with her some of the things you want to accomplish in you lifetime.

Memories:

104. In every letter you write, include a section where you share one memory.
The following are a few suggestions:

Favorite vacation The most trouble you have gotten into growing up
First car Best friends growing up
Extracurricular activities in school Worst date
First memory of computers Summer camps
Musical instrument Pets
First day of school Pranks you have done
Favorite teacher Athletic events
Worst teacher Athletic achievements
Leaving home for the first time Concerts
Historical events in your lifetime Grandpartents
Worst babysitting job Worst job
Broken bones, stitches, scars Presents
Natural disasters Road trips
Shopping trips Spring breaks
Camping Spring
Fishing Summers
Sleep overs First apartment
Amusement Parks Winter
Cities you have visited Snow storms
Bike rides or bike wrecks Holidays
Beaches

105. The following ideas refer to memories that you have shared together:

Best walk together Best sunset
First time you noticed him or her First kiss
Favorite date Wedding day
Most embarrassing moment First date
Most romantic moment Best vacation
Best meal that he or she has made Honeymoon
Most memorable holiday Memorable birthday
Birth of your children Engagement day
Most memorable anniversary Favorite concert together
Favorite present Craziest thing you have done together\
Best weekend

Online Bonding:

106. Take an Internet virtual tour together of the world's greatest mountain
peaks.

107. Use Yahoo Messenger to visit with her as you go on virtual dates on the
Internet.

108. Attend a concert together on the web.

109. Sign up together for a long distance learning course on the Internet.

110. Search for websites she might be interested in and send her the websites
addresses.

111. If you have a scanner or a digital camera e-mail photos to him on a daily
basis.

112. Take a virtual tour of the White House.

113. Go on a fantasy one million dollar shopping spree together on the web.

114. Join an Internet Fantasy Sports League together.

115. Try Internet Video Conferenceing so you can see her as you talk over the
Internet.

116. Sign up for the free weekly e-mail reminder service that reminds you to
do a long distance relationship building activity. Www.longdistance couples.com

117. Send him digital photos and voice messages through e-mail.

118. Listen to a sports event together on the Internet.

119. Buy him a computer game that you can both play together using the
Internet.

120. Visit a museum together on the Internet.

121. Use a program like Quicken to continue to stay involved with the finances.

122. Take a virtual vacation to Hawaii.

123. Play Internet games together like Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune, both of
which can be found at sony.com. Other games can be found on the Internet include
golf, card games, chess, checkers, Sim City, etc. . .

124. Go on a Jacques Cousteau adventure at www.nationalgeographic.com

126. Create a family website together.

127. Take a virtual tour of the International Space Station.

128. Look for you dream house on the web.

129. Go online toy shopping together for your children's birthday or Christmas
gifts.

130. Go on a virtual African safari.

131. Explore the planet Mars on the web.

132. Send her electronic flowers.

133. Join an Internet Stock Market Game together.

134. Go online clothes shopping together.

135. Send an email kiss.

136. Build a webpage celebrating her accomplishments and send the web address
to her.

Active Lifestyles:

137. Go biking in the mountains together using cell phones.

138. Create an exercise program both of you can do while away and include
rewards for completing it by the time you return.

139. Have a sports card made with his picture and stats on it.

140. Go camping together using cell phones.

141. Send her a subscription to a magazine that covers her hobby.

142. Make an exercise video he can use to exercise to.

143. Get the autograph of his favorite athlete and send it to him.

144. Send him newspaper clipping about his favorite team.

145. Go cloud watching together on cell phones.

146. Learn more about her favorite sport. Then write and tell her about what
you are learning.

147. Send him a poster of his favorite national park.

148. Go fishing together on cell phones.

149. Bring a tape recorder and a camera on a walk. On your walk, tell your
partner about the sights and sounds you are experiencing. Take pictures that
she will be able to look at while listening to the tape.

Special Gifts:

150. Don't forget that handmade gifts can be some of the most special gifts
you can give each other. If you don't have the time to make something, then you
might consider some of the following gift ideas. Most of the following gifts
can be found on the Internet for a very reasonable price.

151. Buy a pearl, have it place in an oyster, and send it home to your
sweetheart with a note telling her that something of great worth lies inside.

152. Send him an art poster by his favorite artist.

153. Buy a nice picture frame and send it to him with your picture in it.
Write a special note to him on the back of the frame.

154. Using a color inkjet printer, print photos on T-shirt transfer paper of
the two of you together. Iron the photos onto shirts, shorts or socks. Send
the personalized clothing to your partner.

155. Buy a ring and have a message engraved on the inside. With the ring,
send a letter listing all the things you wish you could have put on the ring but
didn't have room to.

156. Before leaving hide a special gift for your partner. Send home clues or
a treasure map to its location.

158. Find out what her 10 most favorite songs are and make a tape of them for
her.

159. Read a book on tape for him that he can listen to while traveling.

160. Have a star officially named after her. Call 1-800-282-3333.

161. Frame his favorite saying and send it to him.

162. Have a musician personalize a song for her.

163. Find out his favorite TV show growing up and tape reruns of it to send to
him.

164. Ask one of his childhood friends to write down memories of things they
did together. Have the pages bound and send them to him.

165. Send home one package a day for 12 days.

166. Find a duplicate of her favorite childhood toy.

167. Frame his favorite poem and send it to him.

168. Send him a CD of a concert by his favorite musician. Buy a copy for
yourself and set up a time when you both can listen to it.

169. Write a history of your relationship and send a copy to her.

170. Have a fun message sewn on a towel.

171. Send him a copy of this book.

172. Write a children's story book describing the adventures you would have
had if you would have grown up together.

173. Have a picture of the two of you made into a key chain and send it to her.

174. Send him both of your baby pictures framed together.

175. Buy two identical pairs of holiday socks and send a pair to her. Choose
a day that you will both wear the socks.

176. Have a calendar made with pictures featuring the two of you.

177. Send him a box of his favorite kind of Girl Scout cookies.

178. Buy candles you can each burn when you need to be reminded of each other.

179. Buy her a charm bracelet.

180. Send him packages of gourmet hot chocolate.

181. Have a refrigerator magnet made with your picture on it.

182. Send her a necklace with the key to your heart on it.

183. Have a large poster made of you, autograph it, and send it home to him.

184. Buy her a teddy bear that when squeezed will repeat a personalized message
in you voice.

185. Send him his favorite box of cereal.

186. Purchase a piece of jewelry with her birth stone in it.

187. Buy him a tie with the logo of his favorite sports team.

188. Buy some passion fruit and send it to her.

189. Have a coffee mug made with your picture on it and send it to him.

190. Send home tickets to an event that you will be able to attend together
when you return home.

191. Have a street sign made using his name.

192. Send her 1 lb. of her favorite flavor of candy and send it in a gift
wrapped box.

193. Buy her one share of stock in her favorite company and send her the
certificate.

194. Have a license plate made that reads "ILUV....."

195. Buy him a talking picture frame. Put a favorite picture inside it with a
romantic message.

196. Send home items that she collects.

197. Make your partner a pocket planner using color copy photos of you, your
children, your pets, etc. Many copy centers offer this product.

198. Send him a poster of his dream car.

199. Send home a heart shaped kite that she can fly the next time it is windy.

200. Learn how to crochet and then crochet her a blanket.

201. Buy him a cell phone.

202. Send him a book of his favorite cartoon strip.

203. Buy her a CD by her favorite musician.

204. Find out what his 10 most favorite movies of all time are and then send
him the videos one at a time.

205. Send her a gift certificate to her favorite store.

206. Buy her a calender with photos of her favorite animals, flowers, or
sports.

207. Buy him a Game Boy for his long trips.

208. Go to Amazon.com and buy two copies of a book for you and him to read at
the same time.

209. Stencil "I love you" all over a set of sheets.

210. Ask his parents to write down some of their favorite memories of him as a
child. Ask him to do the same. Have the pages bound and send a copy to him and
his parents.

Food Over Miles:

211. At least once a week eat together over the phone.

212. Send his favorite treats or snacks through the mail.

213. Send her the nonperishable ingredients for her favorite cake or cookies.

214. Call him in the middle of the day and tell him not to make plans for
dinner because you have ordered pizza, (or whatever he likes), to be delivered
that night. Order the same thing for you and eat dinner together over the
phone.

215. Send a "chocolate attack" of one candy bar each day for a week.

216. Order some European chocolates to be delivered to him.

217. Make a batch of her favorite cookies and send them to her.

218. Arrange to have a friend deliver breakfast in bed to your partner on your
behalf. Have the friend also deliver a letter from you that she can read as she
eats the breakfast.

219. Make him an extra large heart shaped cookie or rice crispy treat and wrap
it in red plastic wrap.

220. Send him a package of Hershey Kisses or Hershey Hugs.

221. Send home the nonperishable ingredients for her favorite meal. Call her
while she eats the meal.

222. Make his favorite jelly or jam preserves and send him a jar.

223. Buy her an extra large Hershey Kiss.

224. Arrange to have a picnic at the same time. Call each other on cell
phones as you are eating your food.

Long Distance Fun:

225. Call each other on cell phones while swinging on a swing set.

226. Play the "Flea Market Game". Each one of you take $5 to a flea market
and buy a crazy, fun, or romantic gift to send to the other person.

227. Write a letter to her and cut it up like a puzzle.

228. Play chess through the mail.

229. Call him on a cell phone wile on a Ferris Wheel.

230. Have a favorite photograph of the two of you made into a jigsaw puzzle.
Send her a few pieces with every letter.

231. Arrange to call each other on cell phones from row boats in the middle of
two different lakes.

232. Use an Internet crossword puzzle program to make a personalized crossword
puzzle for him. Clues could include special times together, memories, or each
others favorite activities.

233. With the help of a friend, make all the arrangements to throw a surprise
barbecue for your partner. Have a speaker phone set up in the middle of the
table so that you can "attend" as well.

234. Send home a poster of a place that you would like to take her in the
future.

235. Call him on a cell phone from one of your children's activities.

236. Find out the birthday of his favorite movie star. Celebrate it with him
by sending him a video with the movie star in it.

237. Use the sign for "I love you" in all the pictures you send to her.

238. Arrange to go snow skiing on the same day. Call each other from the
chairlifts.

239. During one of your phone calls plan two romantic weekends: one that you
actually will do when you return and one that you would do if you had a million
dollars to spend.

240. Choose a day when you will wear matching outfits.

241. Before you leave pack in her luggage a favorite video, CD or cassette
tape to use in case of a "homesickness" emergency.

242. Send home a recipe that is unique to the area that you are in.

243. Learn a foreign language together. Use it in the letter you write to
eachother.

244. Ask her for a list of ten nice things she would like for you to do when
you return home. Pick seven of them and plan to do one a day during your first
week home.

245. Over the phone, make plans with your partner to meet him or her that
night in your dreams. Be creative! For example, plan to meet each other on a
beach, the moon, etc.

246. Keep a couples journal. When you are apart, write on separate pieces of
paper. Combine them in a binder when you are reunited.

247. Tell her about some of the different customs in the area you are in.

248. Climb a tree and write a letter to her while up in the tree.

249. Buy two bird feeders. Send one to him and tell each other about some of
the birds that visit.

Growing Together:

250. Plan together landscaping changes you can make to your yard when you
return home. In your letters, send home pictures, diagrams, etc. . .

251. Buy her a pair of gardening gloves and write a loving message on the back
of them.

252. Send her a potted plant.

253. Pick a few wild flowers and iron them between two pieces of wax paper.
Send them to him in one of your letters.

254. Send home mistletoe that she can hang over the door for when you return.

255. Glue a fall leaf on a letter you are going to send to him and have the
letter laminated.

256. Give her growth updates on the tree or flower you planted together before
she left.

Reunion:

257. Try not to have unrealistic expectations about your reunion.

258. Have her favorite meal ready for when she comes through the door.

259. Prepare a hot bath with rose petals floating in the water.

260. Go out of your way to recognize any of his efforts in making your
homecoming a special one.

261. Schedule together what you want or need to do your first week home.

262. Try to only have relaxing activities planned for the first 24 hours back.

263. Plan a welcome home party for a couple of days after he returns.

264. Don't forget to continue to do daily activities to strengthen your
relationship when you are home.

Keys to Building a Long Term Relationship:

265. Be the change you want to see in your relationship. Make a list of the
things YOU can do to improve your relationship over the next year. Refer to it
on a weekly basis.

266. Read Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman.

267. Make plans to take a relationship enhancement class together. For a list
of programs and classes around the country go to www.smartmarriages.com

268. Write down a list of the 10 most annoying things she does. Burn the list
and resolve to yourself that from now on you will overlook all the items that
were on the list.

269. Make a list of 5 things you can do to be more unselfish in your
relationship and then DO THEM!

270. Increase the frequency of how often you tell her how much you appreciate
all the things she does for you.